Name: THE CRAMP named after the band The Cramps Number: 14 (size 14) Start Date: April 2009 Height: As tall as your mum! Derby Assets: My natural padded ass Greatest Derby Moment: Spewing on the court mid game Biggest Derby Regret: Haven't done my double backwards flying armadillo move yet. Favorite Off-Skates Activities: Sex Motto: "Pad up"
It was a cold and stormy night, when I heard the howls from the banshees, as they were eating the flesh from the freshly buried dead, but the banshees were the least to worry about that night, from the clouds above rained blood and I knew then, that it was that time of month for "THE CRAMP" to unleash her bloody hell on the world.
Name: Heartless-Desire. I'm heartless on the track and desire, well that just speaks for itself. Number: 29. My brother David would have been so proud of me playing derby, he was 29 when we lost him so it's awesome having him out there with me kicking ass. Start Date: March 2010. The first time I strapped on my skates someone had to help me stand up, I can't believe it's only been a year. Height: 5ft 6 and it's all in the legs! Derby Assets: Born to jam, it's what I do. I also love blocking, my ruffle-butted booty isn't only for looking good. Greatest Derby Moment: Skating out on the track for the first time and my cherry going POP, then to top it off being named player of the bout. Biggest Derby Regret: Not finding out about this amazing sport sooner. Favorite Off Skates Activities: Derby-related shenanigans. I joined derby because I was feeling a bit lost in life, now not only do I play an amazing sport, I have a fan-freaking-tastic social life. I'm also a mum of two beautiful girls and have a ferret named Cupcake that lives the life of a diva. Motto: Come on!!
Sugar and spice and everything nice is NOT what this Hellcat is made of. Sweet as cherry pie she may be but once the skates are laced just try getting in her way!
Name: Moxie Dioxide. Once upon a time I studied science, so in order to come up with my name I reduced myself to my basic chemical properties. Number: MO2. One part moxie, two parts oxygen. Start Date: October 2009. Height: Depends if I'm a solid, liquid or gas on any given day. Derby Assets: I am good at listening to and communicating with my team mates. Greatest Moment: Skating the Hordern Pavilion with The Dockyard Dames in front of two-and-a-half thousand people. What a rush! Biggest Regret: Not starting sooner. Derby has done so much for my quality of life, and it could have been doing it all along. Favorite Off Skates Activities: Contributing to my derby family in off track areas and spending time with my long-suffering derby widow (aka, husband). Motto: Hellcats, HELL YEAH!
I have never played a team sport in my life. I've never had my name printed across the back of a uniform. I have never wanted to work so hard for anything until ROLLER DERBY. This is where I was meant to be all along, I just didn't know it. I found my home, and it's on eight wheels, turning left. I'm loving every minute of it.Name: Vicioushire Cat.. Just like the Cheshire Cat, but VICIOUS!! Number: O'9 tails....from a cat O nine tails: an implement for severe physical punishment.. meouch!! Start Date: March 2008 Height: You will find V Cat anywhere in between 80-180cms Derby Assets: Cat stealth...skill at getting in under your feet and in your way and then disappearing into small holes. Greatest Derby Moment: The lap of honour at the end of every bout is always the greatest moment Biggest Derby Regret: forgetting the rules on my first jam as a Dockyard Dames Bout!!! Favourite Off-Skates Activities: Planning on-skate activities...talkin' derby...napping in the sun....drinking tea and eating chocolate. Motto: "Those who'll play with cats must expect to be scratched" - Cervantes
The V Cat was born with wheels on her paws and has been skating most of her life. Her mother used to complain that she moved to quickly, would often stand on her toes while getting under her feet and could she stop appearing out of nowhere and scaring her half to death!! As a teenage V Cat, she spent her spare days and nights at Skateline, until moving to QLD when skating took a back seat to life. In 2008 she heard about roller derby and her ears pricked up! Finally a sport that uses the skills she was born with!! The derby community became her pack and she's never looked back... unless she's on the track, eyeing you off for some booty blocking action!!! She likes to block and jam and was NRDL's Booty Blocker of the Year 2010.
Name: Fisty Fistulina Number: #66 Start Date: August 09 Height: Wheels not Heels! Derby Assets: having a twin in the league and a distracting booty, oh YEAH! Greatest Derby Moment: Playing with a shoulder injury in a high cut g string Leotard against Vagine Ragime at Radelaide's GREAT SOUTHERN SLAM 2010!! Biggest Derby Regret: suffering "Meh" syndrome and letting it win for too long! Favourite Off-Skates Activities: Face Painting and Body Art Motto: "Get it Up Ya!"
C-Bomber 144 "Beware the quiet ones"
Spring 2009 saw the birth of a rather meek little kitten called C-Bomber. While she had a penchant for scratching posts and catnip, she was yet to unsheathe her claws in public. By daylight, she plied her trade as a graphic designer, her early days in said career dogged by the limitations of the 1.44Mb floppy (thus her number). But a kitty needs more.
Skates were applied, skills were learnt and a new fierceness blossomed within. Suddenly her tall frame and bounteous booty made sense. Soon she was smashin' beetches like she'd just clawed her way outta hell. Last seen mixin' it with the likes of Kitty DeCapitate and Vaderella at the East Coast Booty Camp (proud moment, that), you may find her when you least expect it; her new fave off-skates activity - lying in ambush awaiting her prey...
Name: I dabbled under a few guises (like Knives Chau) but Susy Pow (my real name) is enough of a character in itself Number: My number is TOP5 and comes straight from the pages of Nick Hornby's cult classic High Fidelity. I deal in desert island top fives.. Start Date: September 2009 Height: Small enough to sneak, tall enough to throw-down How old you tell people you are: Old enough to know better Derby Assets: I'm one of NRDL's strategy brains and rules-nerds Greatest Derby Moment: Travelling to Europe in Jan/Feb '11 and skating with London Rollergirls, London Rockin' Rollers, Leeds Rollergirls and watching 5 bouts in 3 weeks including a men's only bout (Merby) Favorite Off-Skates Activities: Off-skates? What's that? You might catch me skating along Newcastle Foreshore; hitting a skate park with derby people from all over; or drinking coffee.. with my skates still on... talking about derby
Name: Excuse the Punz - A friend came up with the play on my name, it fits, I like it. Number: 83 - My year model. Start Date: April 2010 Height: 174 cm plus skates! Derby Assets: A big toosh and an ability to get in peoples way Greatest Derby Moment: getting smashed by The Cramp continuously in a jam, but still getting up every single time. Biggest Derby Regret: not being able to avoid being smashed by The Cramp! Favourite Off-Skates Activities: eating and sleeping (is there anything else than Derby?) Motto: Just keep getting up!
Name: Lady Heidi Hellraiser- I am a lady and I raise hell Number: Rule 34- ask an adult to google that for you Start Date: March 2010 Height: 170ish (I think) How old you tell people you are: I am 24 Derby Assets: I take up a fair amount of the track.. And my booty block is simply amazing Greatest Derby Moment: Passing my 25 laps in 5 minutes. Biggest Derby Regret: I am my own worst enemy, so I can let things get to me and then get me down. This means that I hold myself back from reaching maximum potential, though this is slowly changing!! Favorite Off-Skates Activities: Group get togethers at Foxy's (Smashleys skater) Motto: PAGAN ROME
Name: DEATH ROW DOLL Number: -x187x- This is the US police code for a homicide. What can I say... I have a temper. Start Date: April 2009 Height: See prison file. Derby Assets: You may knock me down, but you'll get yours... Oh yes, you will... Greatest Derby Moment: Being the only NRDL player on the track in the first NRDL vs. WIRD bout and taking them ALL on. Biggest Derby Regret: Dislocating my knee in the second NRDL vs. WIRD bout and being unable to finish it or play the third bout. Favorite Off Skates Activities: Carving my initials into the still beating hearts of my enemies. Alternatively, your mum. Motto: Snitches get stitches.
Name: Killher Kellett comes from a Famous wrestler named Killher Kowalski, he was Big and Tough and she inspires to be the same......mmmmmwwwwwwaaahhhaaahhhaahhh... Number: 27 is Killher's favourite number Start Date: Killher started back when there were only under 10 people in October 2008 Height: Good things come in small packages Derby Assets: Killer Booty & Great Teamwork Greatest Derby Moment: Killher has had many great moments but this one time at derby camp....LOL...no on a serious note, Killher loves going and playing away teams in other league's home towns as the travel and bunking really strengthens the team spirit and bonds Biggest Derby Regret: Never regret Favourite Off-Skates Activities: Hitting the skate parks, teaching all my family to skate, shopping for clothes and shoes and anything pretty Motto: Derby is your OWN journey
Killher is a Mumma wildcat in ruffle panties, protecting her pack as fiercely as she would her own family. Look out if you mess with her jammer. Don't let her sweet personality and cuteness fool you because when she is on the track her inhibitions take over. Killher's an expert at getting in your way with a booty block that will annoy even the most sneaky of jammers. Her Husband and Sons and Derby Wives think she's a super STAR, what more could she ask for!
Name: Dino la Rouge - it stems from my love of red and all things French Number: 37 - my fave number, and a recurring number in Kevin Smith movies Start Date: December 2008 Height: On skates I'm around 6'2" Greatest Derby Moment: Being awarded Block of the Bout in a game I played on my birthday last year Biggest regret: Having 4 months off derby Fave off skates activities: Kickboxing, dancing and singing like a dork :) Motto: Kill the jammer
Name: Firestorm...cause Derby ignited a fire in my soul Number: 800*c ...the heat point at which a building combusts in a firestorm Start Date: Sept 2009 Height: 5ft 4in How old you tell people you are: I ask them to guess and smile when it's about 5yrs less than what I am. I'm in my early 30's Derby Assets: Determination Greatest Derby Moment: the first time I strapped on my skates and became a skating member of NRDL Biggest Derby Regret: No regrets, just lessons learned Favorite Off-Skates Activities: online gaming, reading, hanging out with my loved ones Motto: 'Do, or do not, there is no try'
Name: DefCON Dani - My mate Steve gave the name after watching a 80's Matthew Broderick movie where the alarms were sounding DefCON DefCON... a state of readiness. I'm ready, are you! Number: 360 I like to spin Start date: Thanks to Miss Jacknife, February 2009 Height: Bigger and agile as an Armadillo Derby assets: Training hard and pushing those around me to do the same. Greastest Derby Moment: My first bout in front of 1,000 people for the Black n Blue Bells (CRDL). That's the best thing about derby it's all around the world you meet, train, sk8 with the best people you will ever meet in your life. It's such a great journey sk8ing around. Biggest derby regret: My job gets in the way of my derby lifestyle. Fav off sk8s activities: Besides dancing - Why would I take off my sk8's? Motto: REPRESENT!
Don't get angry at yourself. Remember it's derby so play, sk8 Hard in the derby way you know how to, Love and ELBOWS xoxoxo
Name: Brigand Strong - my name is Brigid and I wanted to be a convict-banshee hybrid. Unfortunately I couldn't find a name for that so went with a friend's suggestion. Number: 212 - Originally to do with tensile strength of piano wire but I've had to alter it to a palindrome. Since then, I've found out that 212 was a leap year of the Julian calendar, beginning on a Wednesday, when the emperor Caracalla gave Roman citizenship to all free people in the empire, except for some Egyptians. Caracalla's brother was also murdered that year - you gotta take the good with the bad. Start Date: April 2009 Height: 175 cm, or ten feet after some cheap vodka. Derby Assets: Invisibility (usually happens accidentally). Armadillo-style agility. Ranga rage. Greatest Derby Moment: Once upon a time, a VRDL (ed note: Victorian Roller Derby League - Australia's #1 team in 2010!) representative team member told me I was a good jammer! Donning the purple Dockyard Dame dress is always a good time. Biggest Derby Regret: Having big feet. And I've lost my white fishnets - can someone find me another pair? Favourite Off-Skates Activities: Drinking, sleeping and staying out of direct sunlight. Motto: Don't forget your protective collar!
Name: BOOGA... Just cause Number: 4x4 OFF road baby!!! Start Date: April the 6th I believe (2010) Height: Short... Derby Assets: I can go real fast!!!!!!! And I get up really quick. Greatest Derby Moment: Making the Dockyard Dames (NRDL's Travel Team) and holding the record for fastest lap at 8.3 seconds. Biggest Derby Regret: ....none!!!! Favourite Off-Skates Activities: I just work, sleep and skate! Motto: You picked a winner! OOGA BOOGA!!
I have The Cramp to thank for my derby fever!!!! I moved in with The Cramp and it took her a bit of hounding but I decided to give it a go... I saw my first bout (The Homewreckers VS Stepford Wives) and it was set in stone!!! Once I joined you couldn't keep me away until I injured my knee on HOLIDAYS. I came back and sped through my levels!!! I played my first bout (Vampires Vs Zombies) and I became addicted to the high!!! I became NRDL's fastest lap record holder and I made my first team, HELLCATS (Hell Yeah!!!). I made the DOCKYARD DAMES......... That's where I came from and where I'm at, who knows where I'll go.... I know Derby will always be there!
Name: Babycakes - I'm pretty wussy so didn't feel that I could do a traditional hardcore derby name justice...so I went the other way and picked the sickly sweet 'Babycakes'. Number: 85 - it's my age, I've got really good genes Start Date: May 2010 (started in Adelaide in October 2008) Height: 5'6"ish Derby Assets: My innocent smile Greatest Derby Moment: Anytime I get through a pack as lead jammer! Biggest Derby Regret: Eating too much icecream before training Favourite Off-Skates Activities: Eating too much icecream. Motto: Puppies!!
Rollerskates, a whole lotta sugar and a pinch of sass were baked in a hot oven and after a few minutes out came Babycakes - so sickly sweet she'll give you tooth decay
Name: Tootsie Turbo Number: z00m Start date: ??? March intake??? Height: Tall enough to reach the top shelf Derby Assets: My lumps, my lovely lady lumps. Check it out. Greatest derby moment: coming out of the penalty box with Susy Pow in the last 5 seconds literally of the season decider and blocking Hippy from getting more points whilst Susy made it through the pack to gain the points we needed to win the game and the season. That's how close we came to not winning. Biggest Derby Regret: That it wasn't around when I was younger. Favorite off skates activities: sleeping, eating, drinking, dancing, being massaged. Any of the Taurean earthly delights. Motto: When the rain goes there's rainbows. That includes the occasional days of struggle and self doubt each month that turn to pure awesomeness and joy for the remainder.
Name: Reggie Ramjet (maybe one day ReggieMental) Number: 31 (think "she's getting a tattoo, yeah she's getting it done, she asked for 13 but they drew a 31, friends say she's trying to hard and she's not quite hip, but in her own mind, she's the dopest trip. Give it to me Reggie a- huh, a-huh!") Start Date: 21 September 2010 Height: 178cms (without skates) Derby Assets: Occasionally, when my head's on right, I can (as Baron Von Rootable would say) channel my inner mongrel and ReggieMental is released (think a Hulk like transformation with me, green skinned yelling "REGGIE-SMAAAAAAASH!) then I play some ok Derby. Greatest Derby moment: My second bout, when Baroness and I, in perfect unison, squished Dangerass as she was trying to sneak through the pack. The little squeak Danger made when we got her is what I think about when I want to go to my happy place. Then after that bout, when Danger and the Cramp told me I had a great game, well that's what's on the big screen in a continuous loop in my happy place. Biggest Derby regret: Not buying new/better knee pads or wheels until recently. Oh and trying to massively smash Godjilla and bouncing off her onto the floor. I don't think she even noticed I had hit her Favourite off skates activities: Holding down my children and tickling them till they cry, hanging with my man, musicals, dancing... like a boss. Motto: " Take my love, take my land Take me where I cannot stand I don't care, I'm still free You can't take my skates from me Take me out to the track Tell them I ain't coming back Burn the land and boil the sea You can't take my skates from me There's no place I'd rather be Since I found Roller Derby You can't take my skates from me..." - Joss Whedon/Tenacious-Lee (Reggie's Widow) - Ballad of Roller Derby
Name: Baroness Von Brutal Number: 8669 Start Date: 21st September 2010 Height: 170cm Derby Asset: I do what im told. I love blocking the crap out of jammers Greatest Derby moment: As Reggie Ramjet said, making DangerAss squeak, Being selected for Dockyard Dames squad and travelling to Auckland New Zealand to play Pirate City Derby regret: Purchasing shabby knee pads and getting a knee injury as a result and I havn't been able to pop tart Godjilla yet. Favourite off skate activity: There is such a thing? OK then drinking beer Motto: I'm gonna punch you so hard your children will be born bruised. Tank Girl.
Name: Black Iriss
Name: Betty Bedlam Number: 88 Start Date: April 2009 Height: Tall! Derby Assets: Speed and competitiveness Greatest Derby Moment: Ummm.... working on that Biggest Derby Regret: Too much time off derby!! Favorite Off-Skates Activities: Friends, jewellery making, gym, cooking, shopping Motto: Raauugghh!!!
February 25 - NRDL Roller Disco
March 17 - Season 1 Bout 1 2012 Hellcats vs Smashleys @ Gateshead Indoor Sportsworld